I bought a belt today!

I haven't worn belts in ages. Any I had were too small, and I really didn't feel any need to get any (Well, I did one day, and the 2XL was too small. I left embarrassed and vowed to never try on a belt again.)

I purchased four new pairs of pants at Target today, and as I was leaving I saw some cool belts. So I tried some on. And the XL fit!!!

I feel like a new person. I actually looked good in the clothes I tried on. And I'm going be wearing a belt.

I guess I've kind of been patting myself on the back about the weight loss thing. But it's been a real journey for me. It took a series of revelations for me to realize that I was actually doing something to cause the overweight-ness. I was so busy wallowing in self-pity (not fair that I can't eat anything I want to...but I'm too busy to exercise...I'm a working mom...it's my medications...blah blah blah) that it took me six months at weight watchers to realize...I have to actually change something if I really want to lose weight. Really change. Work at it. Do something.

Look at my last post. So, is losing weight a society driven self improvement thing? Yeah. In many ways it is. And losing weight so you can just look better in jeans and wear size 14 trousers... probably not enough of a motive to move it into the "being me" category.

But I wrote down many other reasons. Mostly around health. Health now, Health later, Health for my children. And I realized I had to change. Really change. Not diet. Not deprive myself. But change my relationship with food and with movement. I now realize I will have to work on this change my entire life. I'll probably always have to force myself to go for the walk. Force myself to eat only one cookie. Reprogram my mind to get to the point that I don't have to eat food if it's offered or available.


And that's why the 35 pound star earlier this month and buying belts and size 14 pants are such a big deal to me. They are signs I have changed. I actually have done something. I went after something I wanted instead of sitting around whining about how it was never going to happen.

So...I promise no more weight loss posts for awhile. I just felt like this past week has been a real positive time for me, and writing stuff down makes it more real in some ways. (Oh...and I go in for my annual exam on Monday. My doctor had better say something about my weight loss!!! I bet she will)